If Your Gonna Be A Jerk, Be Consistent

So I recently started working as a personal trainer, but not at your standard gym where you just supervise the person as they move from weight machine to weight machine. This is a place where they train pro footballers, baseball players and all these child prodigies that are going to be the future Maria Sharapova’s, Tiger Woods or Tom Brady’s. Impressive, right?

Ok, but let me just cut to the chase. One of the other trainers working there is a real jerk. On my first day I was told to assist this guy, lets just call him Zoolander, cos his ego is that big and his hair very similar. So Zoolander is doing his thing and I’m making myself very available to assist but I’m getting a vibe. The vibe is that this guy thinks he’s all that. Like he is the Jesus of all things personal training. But whatever, I make a note to self on the issue and just follow along, until I get the distinct feeling this guy is trying to shake me off, to lose me in the crowd, to ditch me if you will. His body language, his way of ignoring my presents are all distinctive signs. When he does speak to me its like he is talking to a child, “don’t touch that, don’t sit there, it looks better if the trainer is X, Y or Z, can you stand behind me?” When I speak to him, I get nothing but irritated, one-word answers. Zoolander is being a real prick and I’m starting to really, really dislike him. Basically he wants me to observe him in all his glory from the other side of the facility. The fact that he doesn’t want me near him is coming across loud and clear.

I feel the need to call him out on the issue.

Me: Look Zoolander, I know this is probably the last thing you want, me tagging along as you try to work your exercise magic and believe me, I’m not loving it either, but lets suck it up and try to get through it as best we can.

Zoolander: I don’t know what your talking about, I have no problem with you tagging along.

Great, now he’s playing the “your a crazy bitch" card.

Anyway, we both survive the experience and I make sure not to team up with him again.

But the other day I arrive at the facility and am sitting in the office waiting for my client. Zoolander walks in and sits near by. He say’s “Hello” and I reply with a “Hello” and nothing more. It’s just the 2 of us and the air is heavy. Neither of us is speaking. It’s pure awkward. Eventually he strikes up a conversation. I swear the temptation to give him the Zoolander treatment, you know, the irritated one word answers was very tempting, but I didn’t, I was the bigger person and I conversed. And surprise, surprise we actually got along. So now I’m confused. Did I misjudge this guy? Was he just having a bad day? Cos he’s coming across completely different, almost, likeable. So now I feel a tad guilty. That is until I arrived the following day and thinking we are peers and friends now, I’m all “Hey Zoolander, what’s goin on?” To which I get a moody one-word answer. I’m a little taken back, but now, doubting my own judgment as far as he’s concerned, I decided to keep going with conversation and see what happens.

Me: So who’ve you got coming in today?

Zoolander: Clients.

Me: No, really? I ment who, the sexy volleyball player, the chunky footballer??

Zoolander: Yeah, all that.

Ok, you f*#ker, how dare you trap me in some sort of false sense of friendship and then pull the rug out from under me. My instincts were right, you are a jerk. But please, if your going to be a jerk lets be consistent, cos then I will always now exactly where I stand. No more mixed signals, no more confusing me with friendly banter. Just be the asshole you clearly are all the time and things will work out just fine.