Totally Inappropriate

So I’ve recently had to interact with this man, who for the sake of the blog we are calling Knob. Knob, for those of you unfamiliar with the term, is Irish slang for fool, eejit, loser, whatever, but it’s definitely not a compliment.

The reason for the negative name is that this guy is totally inappropriate all the time. From my first meeting with Knob he was making these gross smutty jokes and comments about women and our varies bit and pieces. I swear it caught me completely off guard. I was so confused and surprised when it happened, that my only reaction was this nervous laugh, along with a pair of wide eyes. Bare in mind we were in a business meeting. We weren’t just hanging out, having the craic. Not that that makes it’s any better, but you certainly don’t expect someone to reveal their nasty side in a professional setting, right off the bat. Anyway, I let it go largely cos I couldn’t believe what I just heard. I drove off confused, wondering if I just imagined the whole encounter.

We’ve worked together a couple of times since. On one occasion I was totally absorbed in my work. I was in the zone and oblivious to my surroundings. Next thing Knob is right there, sitting next to me. I had no idea where he came from but it sure shocked the hell out of me for a split second. I acknowledged his presents and kept going with my work. But he leans in close to my left ear and whispers “have you seen that lady over there? I lift my head slightly to see a lady standing close by with her back to us. “I’ve been working her hard (as in, he's been chatting her up) for the past 15 minutes, I think she’s hot, a real MILF”. Eeeeeuuuu. This guy is something else. Oh, and did I mention he’s married, with kids??

But the fun doesn’t stop there. He was around again the other day looking all tanned. So I asked if he’d been away for the weekend. He said, no, that he has a sun bed in his basement. Summer is coming and he felt the need to get his tan on. Ok, que the face with the crinkly nose, and the “seriously?” expression. For some reason, a grown ass man with a sun bed in his basement doesn’t scream REAL MAN to me. It screams total KNOB.
“I hope you don’t get your cancer on too” was my response. He assured me we were all going to die someday anyway, which of course was news to me. Then he took it to the nasty place and said he was hoping to die of………………(insert any awful STD here and you wouldn’t be far off the mark). I was disgusted. “Your gross, do you know that? Seriously, you are not hilarious”. But he is such a Knob that he took it as a compliment. He gave a big deep, belly laugh. Like my reaction was just what he was looking for.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no prude. I am in no way innocent and I have laughed hard and shared my fair share of grossness. But there just seems to be some people, Knob for example, that when it comes out of his mouth, it just feels so wrong and uncomfortable. I shudder and start swatting at my arms and legs like I’m trying to cleanse myself of his comments and the imagery they bring to mind. And its beyond me why he thinks its ok to share this stuff with me. Also, if he's this bad talking to a women, how bad must it get when he's hanging out with his male friends? Gross

Note (if you want to know what a MILF is, I suggest you go rent American Pie on DVD)