Language Barrier

Let me just say, the people of Valencia have zero English and I have teeny tiny Spanish. Which made for a very long and difficult trip back from the stadium to my hotel last night.

A bunch of us jumped on some public transportation i.e the bus, after the events of Saturday night wrapped up on the track. We had no idea if it was the right bus for where we were headed but as long as it was city bound we’d figure it out. It did take us into the city. The others were staying at a different hotel to me, so they hopped off while I remained on, confident the bus was headed onwards towards my hotel. But it took a left, then a few rights and some more lefts. Ok, now my internal compass had well and truly been turned on its head. I asked the person next to me if she spoke English? She looked like a student, so I was secretly hoping she was a student of my language.

But she looked at me blankly. I said it again “english?”. She said, “No, no englais” but still proceeded to give me what I can only assume was her life story, in Spanish. She went on and on nodding and pointing and throwing hand gestures all around the place. Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla…….bla blao. I was looking at her in amazment. Was she serious? I tried to cut her off. I shock my head from side to side and said “Por favor, no espanol”, so shut up. But she was having none of it, “si si” was all she said and went on with her story. So I stopped giving her eye contact hoping that even in Spain, that ment the person you were talking to was no longer listening or interested. But she was not to be stopped. I decided to bail and find a taxi. I got off at the next stop and Student was still trying to tell me something as I was getting off. I just waved “peace out”. As the bus pulled away it dawned on me that I didn’t have a clue where I was. Shit, what if Student was trying to tell me “No, you must not get off here. These are the ghetto’s of Valencia. You will be robbed, raped or murdered within 5 minutes”. Now I was starting to feel nervous. My first thought was, thank god I didn’t wear heels today, cos I have a feeling I may need to run.

I begin walking and franticly looking for taxi’s. But no sign. I’m heading towards the busiest areas. I need to have lots of people around, so there will be plenty of witnesses to my abduction. It took about half an hour, but I eventually got a taxi, this guy, no English either. I just told him the name of my hotel “Holiday Inn por favor”. That was all the encouragement HE needed to start HIS life story. Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla HOTEL bla bla bla bla bla HOLIDAY INN bla bla bla bla. These were the only key words I picked up and so I was all “si, si Holiday Inn”. So off we went. But wouldn’t you know there are a billion Holiday Inn’s in this town, so I got taken to the wrong one, twice.

This was getting seriously frustrating, so I decided to get out of the taxi at the second Holiday Inn so I could ask them for the address of the one I’m actually staying at. The reception lady had excellent English, my god, the relief. She told me it was a 15 minute walk. I refused to walk. I had been lost enough times tonight and at this stage all my friends are waiting for me in a bar downtown. I told her to just call me a taxi. “No, no, its 15 minutes you must walk. Here is the map”. Me, “no, no, I’m done walking, taxi por favor”. Her “no, its 15 minutes, here is the map”. I see the damn map. I don’t want it. I want to be safely delivered to my door. But she refuses. I take the f*#king map and walk off in complete hostility. As I march my way toward my hotel I am hot. I’ve had it up to my face with this place for one night and even though he is not with me, he’s in meetings somewhere, I decide its all Husbands fault. I haven’t figured out how yet, but give me a second and I can become very creative. I mean, it’s hardly my own, right??

But I made it “home”. And had like 5 minutes to get ready and head out to meet the others so we could test out the cities nightlife. This city owes me something. And you best believe I took 50 business cards with me that had the address, phone number and e-mail of my hotel. Lesson well and truly learned.