Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Filter? What Filter

Apparently I have no filter. As in, I will say and respond verbally, to any given situation without thinking, not for one second. This news was broken to me by one of my good friends at work, Melissa.


Melissa and I have been working closely now for about 7 months and recently she plucked up the courage to tell me that she sometimes lives in fear of the next word or sentence that may fall out of my mouth. Seemingly my blunt honestly, colorful language, dramatic twists and creative vocabulary is something she has never been hit head on with before.


I have to say, up to this point it's never really been an issue. At this stage in my life my good friends have been my good friends for a very, very long time and my family, well they know me even longer so I guess everyone has become accustom to my randomness of thought and huge inability to filter any of those thoughts before the exit my mouth. But now my attention has been drawn to it and an awareness exists where once there was none. So now I worry.


I worry that I’ve said the wrong thing. (“Hey, I saw you walk right into that glass door, Oh my God, how embarrassing for you”. “Kim you seem mentally unstable today, seriously, I’m afraid to turn my back you, what’s going on??” )

I worry that I may have shared too much. (“Girl, can you smell me from over there, cos I think I forgot to put deodorant on today?” )

I worry that I may unintentionally be offending. (“God, the humidity does awful things to your hair, doesn’t it?” )


Wow, as I write I can see Melissa’s point. I do appear to be somewhat challenged in the filter department. Oops. What can I say in my defense, only that its a reflex. If I had to put it in scientific terms I would probably say that "Its an unconscious, reflective reaction to any given and almost every situation". But at least I know now. I know and I’ve started to spot the circumstances where a filter was desperately needed. Unfortunately its still happening after the fact. But baby steps, baby steps, there is alot of relearning to happen here.


P.S. Melissa has begun to use her body language as a way of red-flagging me to the fact that I maybe in the throws of a desperately needed filter situation.


E.g. Face falling into hands while moving head slowly from side to side = I can't believe you just said that.

Shocked facial expression and wide eyes, alla deer in head-lights = I can't believe you just said that.

Melissa saying "I can't believe you just said that" = I can't believe you just said that.


7 comments:

Cormac said...

I think that's your Irish blood shining through; a COMPLETE culture clash with your American comrades!

We tend not to hold back :)

Shinks said...

Good point, that combined with my taste for the dramatic.

Edward said...

Just tellin it like it is sis. Keepin it real

Alan said...

'No Comment' I always wondered why that phrase was invented and sort of written in to US law. I guess they knew you were coming!! Now all they have to do is get you to use it!! So you don't upset them!!!

Alan said...

BTW did you get the email? Was that not the perfect postcard for that particular blog!!! Well in so far as I am sure it would be the same, not that I know for sure!!! Ha ha ha ha!!! I could just see you using that line!!!!

Shinks said...

Ed: Your right, I am "keepin it real", and I think it maybe a disservice to all involved if I stopped. I mean, who would people turn to for some good, blunt, unfiltered honesty??

Alan: Yes postcard was received and agreed, it does sound like something I might say : )

Alan said...

Ha ha!! Yes I thought it would be perfect alright!!