So this week I’ve been hearing a lot of people talking about doing their taxes. Stressing, panicking and worrying if they will be getting any money back or if they will in fact be going to jail. Which made me wonder, should I be stressing about taxes too?? Honestly, I have no idea about the tax system here in the US. But the freaking out that’s going on around me is completely contagious. So now, I’m freaking out too, even though I have no idea what the hell I’m freaking out about.
Back in January I got a W-something or other, from one of my million jobs and was told “this is important, you’ll need it when you file your taxes”. Shit, this sounded serious, a mission I well and truly could not mess up. So I took said document home and gave it to Husband. “Husband, this is my W-something or other, its very important, we need it when we file our taxes”. I said it in a very serious, mature, professional manner cos I knew anything that had the possibility of landing me in jail if carried out incorrectly, needed to be treated as such. Yet Husband was very casual. “Ok, give it here to me, I have a pile for that”. I said, “just tell me which file and I’ll put it away myself”.
He said, “No, pile, not file". I froze and stared at him, searching his face for signs of jest. But nothing. Eventually some words came out of my mouth, “I’m sorry, did you say pile?” He barely looked away from the computer screen, “yeah it's all over here, I have a system” I was stunned. “This is a very important document”. He said “I know, I’ll take care of it”.
I didn’t know where to take the conversation from there. I was completely lost for words.
Not long after that I had a bunch of other receipts and things, which I thought might also be important for the old taxes. So I took them to Husband. “Hey, do we need this stuff for our taxes?” He took a minute to look them over, “yeah, I think so”. Me: “let me guess, you have a pile, right?” He had the nerve to smile and say all proud like “Yeah”.
At this point I’m very concerned. Everyone else is going crazy about this whole topic of taxes and he is sitting there all easy, breezy like we’re chatting about what to have for dinner. We don’t even have a flipping Filing System, we have a damn Piling System. I’m no accountant but I have a feeling this is not how the recording and documenting of ones government contributions gets carried out. So I make a very bold statement. “You know what, I think I need to learn about “doing taxes”, don’t you?” Him: “yeah, I suppose so, but don’t worry about it, we’re filing jointly”. Yet I can’t shake the worried feeling. I just have this awful picture of a man, dressed like he came straight from The Matrix (sunglasses and all) knocking on our door and demanding to see all our important documents. And we can find nothing. Seriously, I want to be able to go straight to a filing cabinet and open the right drawer and pull the right file and show it to Mr. Matrix, so he can see we are very mature and organized about all the things we should be mature and organized about. That way he can high kick, in slow motion, his way out of our house and on to the next US citizen. Is that too much to ask??? Apparently.
I guess I just have to step up and get an education on all things US tax related. God, it just sounds so boring and painfully. The mere thought of it is making me want to take a nap.
Back in January I got a W-something or other, from one of my million jobs and was told “this is important, you’ll need it when you file your taxes”. Shit, this sounded serious, a mission I well and truly could not mess up. So I took said document home and gave it to Husband. “Husband, this is my W-something or other, its very important, we need it when we file our taxes”. I said it in a very serious, mature, professional manner cos I knew anything that had the possibility of landing me in jail if carried out incorrectly, needed to be treated as such. Yet Husband was very casual. “Ok, give it here to me, I have a pile for that”. I said, “just tell me which file and I’ll put it away myself”.
He said, “No, pile, not file". I froze and stared at him, searching his face for signs of jest. But nothing. Eventually some words came out of my mouth, “I’m sorry, did you say pile?” He barely looked away from the computer screen, “yeah it's all over here, I have a system” I was stunned. “This is a very important document”. He said “I know, I’ll take care of it”.
I didn’t know where to take the conversation from there. I was completely lost for words.
Not long after that I had a bunch of other receipts and things, which I thought might also be important for the old taxes. So I took them to Husband. “Hey, do we need this stuff for our taxes?” He took a minute to look them over, “yeah, I think so”. Me: “let me guess, you have a pile, right?” He had the nerve to smile and say all proud like “Yeah”.
At this point I’m very concerned. Everyone else is going crazy about this whole topic of taxes and he is sitting there all easy, breezy like we’re chatting about what to have for dinner. We don’t even have a flipping Filing System, we have a damn Piling System. I’m no accountant but I have a feeling this is not how the recording and documenting of ones government contributions gets carried out. So I make a very bold statement. “You know what, I think I need to learn about “doing taxes”, don’t you?” Him: “yeah, I suppose so, but don’t worry about it, we’re filing jointly”. Yet I can’t shake the worried feeling. I just have this awful picture of a man, dressed like he came straight from The Matrix (sunglasses and all) knocking on our door and demanding to see all our important documents. And we can find nothing. Seriously, I want to be able to go straight to a filing cabinet and open the right drawer and pull the right file and show it to Mr. Matrix, so he can see we are very mature and organized about all the things we should be mature and organized about. That way he can high kick, in slow motion, his way out of our house and on to the next US citizen. Is that too much to ask??? Apparently.
I guess I just have to step up and get an education on all things US tax related. God, it just sounds so boring and painfully. The mere thought of it is making me want to take a nap.
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