Chivalry Is So Dead

I know it’s been forever since I did a “What I've learned Monday” entry, but it’s back today, because I learned something very shocking yesterday.

Remember several months back I mentioned that we were renovating one of our bathrooms? Good. Well, it has been quite the process but we’re finally at the point where we are purchasing and installing the faucets, toilets, sinks etc... and last week, before he flew off again, Husband and I took a trip to the Home Depot to select a vanity for the new bathroom. A vanity for my friends in Ireland is basically a sink that sits on top of a cabinet type thing. I’ll include a picture below, least my explanation be insufficient.
Anyway, so we selected our vanity and chose a nice granite sink to go with it. Come to realize that you had to order the sink separately. Which was fine, only we didn’t have time to do it there and then, cos we had a plumber waiting for us to come back to the house with a couple of toilets so he could get them installed. But now that I knew what we liked, I would just come back myself and place the order.

I returned yesterday, picked up the vanity (the cabinet part of the whole sink) and then sat down with the Home Depot employee to place the order for our sink. Lovely. Now the vanity came in a big ass box, which wasn’t too heavy, but it was really awkward, so I loaded it onto a heavy-duty trolley, cart if the word trolley makes no sense to you, and proceeded to push it out towards my car.

I get to the car, pop the truck/boot and begin sizing up the box to figure out the best way to get it off the trolley and into my trunk. I’m trying to approach it from an angle that will give me the best grip’tion to ensure it stays in my hands and not go crashing to the ground as soon as I go to lift it. It took me a minute but I got in good stance and secured a nice tight grip. I lifted it up, not with ease, with some effort and I got it to trunk/boot level, but the bastard was way too big for the trunk/boot. Not one inch, not one corner of it had a shot at fitting in. I wrestle it back onto the trolley and figure it will have to go on the back seat. I open the back door as wide as it will go and once again being the exercise of trying to get a grip on the box and force it onto the seat. But it stops dead at the mouth of the door. I push, I swear, I maneuver. I’m sweating and trying with all my might but it’s seriously going nowhere. I’m so frustrated and I need to take a few minutes break to think. At this point I notice a couple of people, men mostly, walking past and staring at me like I’m some sort of freak show. They see me stare back, but they are so curious about what’s going on that they don’t even look away. I’m already frustrated, so this just sends me over the edge. They see me struggling. They see the box is almost as big as me, but not one of them, not one, comes over to ask if I need a hand. Not one. This pisses me off.

I decide that my only real shot at getting it into the car, is to take it out of the box and just slide the vanity itself onto the back seat. This also becomes a nightmare. The box is so damn big that in order to lift it out and clear the actual box, it has to go almost above my head. I get into weight lifter stance, lovely bent knees and all that and take a few seconds to compose myself so I can get it up in one big effort. I do. Nice one, but need to place it on the ground straightaway cos my arms are tired. While I take a break, I once again notice I have become the main attraction for the passers by in the parking lot. At this stage I’m so hot and sweaty, so tired and frustration that the temptation to flip them all the middle finger is huge. They see me struggling, they see how frustrated I’m getting but they would rather stare and laugh or judge then come over with the offer of help. Jerks, all of them. But I re-focus back to the problem at hand and once again make an attempt at loading the vanity, now out of its box, onto the back seat. But the son of a bitch still won’t fit. I’m a broken woman. On the verge of a nervous breakdown or possible heat stroke. I surrender. This thing will not under any conditions fit in my car. There is nothing left for me to do but return it to the store and come back later with a borrowed bigger car and pick it up. I need to muscle up the energy, one last time, to put it back into the box, get it back onto the trolley and roll it back into the store.

I get it into the box but I fail on my first attempt at getting it up onto the trolley. It hits off the end and now the damn trolley starts to roll away. I drop the box and try to grab the trolley before it rolls into the side of some ones car. At this point a man finally approaches and asks if I need any help. I am so relieved. “That would be great”, I tell him. But you want to know what his idea of helping is?? He holds the trolley still while “I” lift the box. I look at him with shock and surprise and all I’m thinking is “are you serious? Your going to let ME lift the box and YOUR just going to hold the trolley steady?” Unbelievable. I am so mad at this dude that I just look and him and say “you know what, I got it”.

This whole experience has been a joke. When did men lose the chivalry gene? When did they lose the desire to be the hero and rescue a damsel in distress? I can’t tell you how many men saw me struggle as they walked past, but made the choice to keep on walking. I am not a man, but I can tell you, I would never have done what they did. Many’s a time I have helped some one lift their heavy bags up a stairs, or grabbed the end of a mother’s stroller/buggy as she tried to get it and her child to higher ground. And I do it as a reflex. I don’t have to think. I see the situation and I just react, so it’s very difficult for me to imagine someone else would not have the same instinct. It's such a shame and I think all you men out there need to switch your chivalry sensor back on. Carrying on the way you are right now is doing you absolutely no favors and as a result, today, I HATE MEN.




This is a bathroom vanity







Here is the box that was giving me so much trouble. I hate this vantiy and the box it came in.